Why You Are Unsatisfied: The Cycle of Craving

Have you ever got home after a long day at work, tired and drained, and instead of doing something refreshing, you spent 45 minutes scrolling on your phone? Have you fallen for the trap of having another slice of cake and it not being as good as the first one? Or achieved the thing you thought was between you and your happiness, only to be disappointed?

These all exemplify different stages and manifestations of the cycle of craving. It is a cycle fuelled by chasing pleasure and avoiding pain, mostly without noticing. Satisfaction, lies outside of this cycle, and we need to break out of it to reach it.

By understanding the triggers, reactions, and outcomes that keep us in the cycle, and dealing with them mindfully, we can achieve a more fulfilling life.

The Cycle of Craving: Trigger, Reaction, and Outcome

The Trigger

A trigger can be external or internal. It induces a thought or feeling, which boils down to either a craving for pleasure or an urge to avoid discomfort.

For example, after a long day of work, you feel tired and bored. Or you feel criticized or blamed, and it’s really uncomfortable, even threatening. Or excitement from working on a project makes you to want to keep going for the sense of achievement.

The Reaction

Reactions often come as habitual responses to triggers, either by seeking pleasure or avoiding pain. Reactions to triggers can be mindlessly scrolling on your phone to fill an emotional gap, or giving space for self-blame as a response to criticism. Overworking can be a reaction to excitement about a goal or fear of failure.

The Outcome

Reactions to triggers typically don’t result in lasting satisfaction, leaving us stuck in the cycle.

After scrolling for a good 45 minutes, you feel tired and dissatisfied instead of fulfilled. Self-blame only makes you feel worse after feeling criticised by someone. Overworking leads to exhaustion at best, burnout at worst.

Most of the time we aren’t aware what has lead to the outcome, so we go through the whole cycle again and again, hoping for a different result. But without addressing the underlying need, we will keep being stuck in the cycle. To break it, we need to be mindful of what’s going on and respond appropriately.

Breaking the Cycle

We explore how to break the cycle in four steps in our How to Stop Cravings: 4 Simple Steps to Achieve Contentment, which you can read here.